I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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