she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
