I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
