I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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