I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
