Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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