im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
