You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
