ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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