it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
