Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
