I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
