When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
