What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
