Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Girls should come with a carfax report
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
