Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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