why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
