the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
