girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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