Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
