just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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