im drinking this country out of the recession.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
