I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i came on her dog
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
