I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
