the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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