Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
As shirtless as possible
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
