so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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