just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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