I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
