I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
