I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
