I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
