he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
