1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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