Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
