There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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