What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
