Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
