every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
