Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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