i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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