I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
