there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
