he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
