I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
