dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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