what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
