We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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