Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
