It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can I color on your dick again?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
