She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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