I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
